Who am I to have a Website?
A while back when Lifemother was still on the idea level, I was sitting one day pondering what my path really was and what I wanted to give voice to through this project. I just felt overwhelmed by all of the things I wanted to do, didn’t know where to start and like I just needed some help with clarity. I’ve been really bad at asking for help and support for as long as I can remember and until quite recently viewed it as a sign of strength to be able to do everything on your own. A lot of times I just feel like I might get judged or that if I ask for help or share a dream, it will be so embarrassing to know someone know I failed if I do. I’d rather just make everything as hard as possible for myself and then present only my successes after I’m done. Super stupid, and I’m putting a lot of loving working on that one, but more on that another time.
What I wanted to get to was that I was sitting there feeling like I needed some help with clarity when I came to think of my tarot deck. I bought it many years ago just because I thought that the pictures was so beautiful and the Native American symbolism really spoke to me. I didn’t really think much about ”believing in tarot or not” and I’ve just kept them around. I don’t use them very often, but what I have found is that all of the cards, their elements, symbolism and messages are all just universal wisdom that you can apply to basically any person or situation at any time. That being said, they have a tendency to really spark exactly the conversation you need to have with yourself. Or in my case, being some thing to ask for help when you’re too proud to ask some one. I’m always amazed at how perfect the cards are, but this time I seriously got goosebumps.
So I was sitting there pondering my passion project Lifemother, feeling overwhelmed and confused not knowing where to start and I asked for a card to help me gain clarity on my intention and what to come back to when in doubt. I shuffled for a while as I usually do, waiting for a card to catch my attention, took it out and placed it in front of me on the yoga mat. This is what I saw.
What is this card saying to YOU, if you give it a moment to speak?
The first thing I saw was a woman holding a baby. Yes that makes sense. Then I saw she was older which to me symbolizes maturity and wisdom, she looks at peace with who she is and done rushing things or trying to please anyone. Respected and powerful but in a gentle and forgiving way.
I also recognized the turtle which I know is a symbol of Mother Earth and Creation in native American culture, as well as the spiral which is a symbol of the Cosmos and Evolution. The full basket of corn speaks to me of the life giving generous mother, actual mothers as well as our great mother earth. "Totally buying this" I thought with a smile and went on to read the description of the card.
”CREATIVITY – caring – productivity – the power of mature feminine wisdom – heartfelt empathy – compassion – love – protection – understanding – safekeeping
This power exists within you as well. Let it reveal itself. Let your inner love-light become visible. Just open yourself to the source of your feminine powers. THE TIME OF THE WOMAN IS NOW!
You are in a perfect position to help others recognize their worth and find a more positive way to live on this earth. Your example is helpful. Most of all to yourself! Accept this responsibility. It may prove to be the greatest blessing of you life.”
Writing and reading this again I’m tearing up. So spot on. The truth is I just want to give and to grow. But I have always been so afraid of putting myself out there. Who am I to have a website? What do I think I have to give that someone would want to receive. But my heart is always whispering to me to open up and shine my light, for me and in extension for you. And now the grandmother is telling me to step into my power. I would be honored if you want to join with me on this journey.
The Native American Wisdom Tarot ”Vision Quest” by Gayan Silvie Winter & Jo Dosé